Can we talk? Now?

July 8, 2009 § 6 Comments

Can you turn off the t.v. so we could talk for a minute?

Thank you. Thanks. Hey, I love you. OK? I love you. You know that. And you know it’s hard for me to say this, but I’ve been, not a great, well, not a great…blog writer lately. And it’s not fair to you, it’s not fair to me…just let the phone ring…no, don’t get it…wait…

Who was that? Who? From work? Forget it.

The point is that I’ve put my own crap, my own issues and feelings and experiences before my relationship with you and that’s wrong. I’m wrong. Yes, ok? I’m saying I was wrong and I’m working on it. I’ve gone through some weird stuff, not wanting to do craft tutorials or write down recipes or tell you about the awesome Christmas when I got a drafting table and the first A-ha! album. I’ve been kind of dealing with some stuff…well…not terrible stuff, no, just “different”. A different PHASE. Yes. YES I’VE BEEN TAKING MY MEDICATION. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying that rather than focusing on “lifestyle commentary” I’ve been writing more fiction, and focusing more on…

please don’t turn on Andrew Zimmern. Please? You know I get sick watching this show why would you turn it on? Just…no fine…just mute it and let me finish. I’m going to throw up. Is that a monkey head? I’m going to puke.

Anyway, the point is that I’m going to do better. I’m going to tell you about how I’m afraid the youth of America are turning into monsters, and also my ideas for cheap home improvements on our new place, and more pictures and stories of my long distant childhood that I dream about every day, and how no matter how much you may THINK you’re a gardener, if everything in your garden turns yellow and dies, then maybe you’re not. OK?

OK. I promise I’ll do better and you promise to read and say SOMETHING ok? Please? Just, “Oh thanks. OK. great, great story.” Whatever. Why do I even bother?


Yes ok. You can watch your SHOW.


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§ 6 Responses to Can we talk? Now?

  • Marlo says:

    1) We’ve missed you. Please take that from an appreciation place, not a guilt-inducing one. Because we love you, too!

    2) I really don’t need to have my lack of gardening abilities thrown in my face, so I, for one, can do without blog entries about that.

    3) Yes, more childhood stories, please! They make me nostalgic and happy (I remember that a-ha album Christmas!), and we all know your blog should be about what makes me happy (see also #2).

    4) Woo hoo for more fiction! Yay you!

    5) Ummm…I’m going to go watch my show now…

  • Mom says:

    PLEASE,PLEASE, More stories about your idylic childhood and idylic family life, Charlottes idylic childhood and your and Brians idylic marriage (plus more recipes and crafts)
    Also ,I always look forward to your “life in the big city” observations.

  • Meredith says:

    You could fill every entry with tales of poop and grocery lists and I would still revel in your genius.

  • Brian says:

    That was the funniest, most inventive piece I’ve read in a long while, Charlotte. You’re chock full of talent — or chuck fill of talent, as someone on Twitter wrote yesterday … take your pick. (You know, these kids don’t spell like they used to, like back in our day.)

    It’s always a delight to stop by and read your musings. Truly. I’m envious of your talents.

  • Brian says:

    Eek! I wrote Charlotte by mistake. Forgive me. Sigh.

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